Find John Hill

Picture of John

2008-03-04T23:11:00.003-05:00

Here's an old picture of John that I came across recently. John is on the couch and there's a gentlemen friend that John met shortly before he left. If you've seen John, please contact findjohnhill@hotmail.com with any information.

Metal Gear Solid 4 Boxarts Revealed!

2008-02-27T23:18:00.005-05:00

We finally got a glimpse today of what the box art will look like for Metal Gear Solid 4, coming out for the PS3 in June. I'm really looking forward to this game, but I have to admit, I'm not too impressed with the artwork. Sorry, just my opinion.

FindJohnHill Review of Rolling Rock: Rock Green Light

2008-02-21T13:23:00.002-05:00

Come on, you actually came here for a review of Rolling Rock beer. Look, it's $4.99 for a six pack; how good could it be?

I'll tell you, this is some of the worst beer I've had. No sophisticated beer drinker would be caught dead holding one of these. Incidentally, this was one of John's favorite beers. In fact, we had a hard time keeping it from him usually.

On the positive side, when you're done with it, the bottle makes an excellent ash tray; and for that reason I'll give it 1.5 out of 5 instead of 1 out of 5.

Our Review of the Millionaire League

2008-02-20T12:54:00.003-05:00

OK, here it is plain and simple. I'm not exactly new to the internet marketing game, so I've almost seen it all at this point.

The Millionaire League is a website that basically claims to be able to teach you how to make an income online. Of course, you have to pay for a membership, which is $47. There is a $74 membership as well, which provides a little more resources. It is a one time fee and not recurring. Ok, fine I payed for the $74 membership hoping I would discover some untapped way to make money online. Not quite.

Don't get me wrong, the material covered in his ebook tutorials is good, it just wasn't anything I haven't heard or done myself before. The same goes for the videos. I do wish, however, that I would have found this site a lot earlier because I could have used it before I'd done all the leg work myself and saved a lot of time.

I would only recommend this to people just starting out. For beginners it's great. You'll learn stuff fast that you can implement almost immediately. However, if you've already begun making money online and have spent the hours of research that I have, chances are that you won't learn anything new here.

And by the way, if you are a beginner looking to get a fast start and want to buy this membership, opt for the $47 one. I can't really justify paying $74 for the extra videos.

P.S. His sales page is amazing. I'd give him an A+ for that alone.

John Hill: The Blockbuster Rap

2008-02-16T18:25:00.007-05:00

This is a little poem/rap thrown together for our friend John. Remembering old times...

In ninety-seven movies and games were what you knew

Workin' at B-buster was the shit for you

There from four to close, baggin lots of hoes

'till Tom Cardinal said "man, this kid really blows"

You finally had enough and said "fuck this shit"

You told you boss Carrie to suck yo' dick

They kicked your ass out and you lost yo' job

When your wife found out, she slapped yo' little knob

Broke and distraught, you were lookin' for a meal

You went down to Kroger's and worked a deal

They said "what's your story", you said your name was John

They said "here mother fucker, put this apron on"

Now your makin' eight bucks, you had nothin' to wear

You said "fuck this gay shit, I'm outta here"

It was back to Cinncy, you left yo' big wife

You were out of Columbus, time to start a new life

Great job, John!

Devil May Cry 4 Review for PS3

2008-02-14T18:56:00.002-05:00

Well, Devil May Cry 4 was released February 5, 2008 for the PS3 and let me just say that John would have loved it. The game starts you off as Nero who is new to the series. At the beginning, you're in some kind of church service and Dante busts through a window and kills a guy referred to as "his holiness". A battle ensues between the two of you which is more of a training sequence. Dante escapes and from there the game takes off.

The cinemas and voice acting are top notch, and the controls are tight like the others in the series. I'm not going to go into a long review of it because you can find that anywhere. Instead, I will share with you how I think John would have seen it:

Graphics - pretty good

Sound - it's good

Controls - they're fine

Difficulty - not bad

Score - 8/10

New Trailer for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull!

2008-02-14T17:51:00.001-05:00

The new highly anticipated Indiana Jones trailer was released today online. Ol' John would have certainly appreciated this one. Hopefully, wherever he's at right now, he has access to this trailer.

Our Review of Bookmarking Demon

2008-02-05T18:10:00.001-05:00

Bookmarking Demon is a program that allows you to submit your articles or posts to multiple bookmarking websites at the same time. If you don't know what bookmarking sites are, go look it up Dummy! For anyone who knows what bookmarking websites are, you'd know that this can be extremely time consuming.

This program saves me literally hours of article submissions when I want to get the word out about a new article or video we've just posted. Sure, you can go to OnlyWire.com which claims to do the same thing for free, but good luck trying to get it to work. It only submits it to about 1-2 out of 20 of the bookmarking sites. So, if you want to get serious about increasing your site traffic, check out a program that actually works.

A Girlfriend for John?!

2008-01-30T21:14:00.001-05:00

It seems that John may have a girl waiting for him if he ever decides to return home...

John Lathered Up

2008-01-29T17:55:00.000-05:00

John being a funny man and lathering up in a blanket. There's no water, silly!

A Man of Steel

2008-01-27T17:33:00.000-05:00

Jonathon Hill, a man made of steel
There isn't a man before whom he'd kneel
With an iron determination he left us one day
If it wasn't for a woman, we'd swear he was gay

T'was a big beauty with plenty of kids
John took on the challenge and now they're his
They respect him as a father and love their new dad
Even though underneath, John's but a wee lad

Come home to us John, we miss you so much
Your boyish charm and your feminine touch
You belong with your friends who never do you wrong
Come home you big asshole and we'll sing you a song

Come Home, Dammit!

2008-01-26T13:16:00.001-05:00

A message from us to John.

A Touching Moment for Eric

2008-01-25T13:13:00.000-05:00

Eric starts to break down when we ask him to share his thoughts about our friend John.

John Spotted at Fudge Factory

2008-01-24T21:24:00.001-05:00

It comes as little surprise that John was seen near a fudge factory yesterday. One vigilant reader had been driving by the fudge store in Ontario, Canada and spotted a giddy John in the parking lot. Afraid to stop for obvious reasons, they snapped his picture and sent it in. If you live in this area, be on the look out for this experienced fudge packer.

How to Stop Premature Ejaculation: Review of 'Ejaculation Master'

2008-01-23T19:05:00.000-05:00

Short and sweet, this is my review of 'Ejaculation Master' by Christian Gudnason.
To begin with, premature ejaculation has been a problem of mine in the past, so naturally the book appealed to me, however, I was a bit skeptical. I was unable to find a solution to my problem from my doctor, so I began to search for one online.

After a while, what I found was that my problem was likely more mental than physical (which was a relief). I found helpful tips and insights from free online forums and such, and was ultimately referred to this book by someone on one of the forums. I was glad I took his advice because the information in the book was vastly different than what I'd found online.

This book described ways that I could overcome this obstacle by practicing and applying the techniques within. What I liked about it was the way it was written. Very easy to understand and equally as easy to practice the advice given. What I like most of all is... it actually worked!

Like I said earlier, I was a bit skeptical of the book from the beginning, but I was so desperate that I decided I needed to give it a try. To make a long story short, after about nine years of struggling with premature ejaculation I was now able to control my urges. I am extremely happy to say that I haven't had a problem in a little over three years now.

As for the book itself, I would rate it as follows (1 being the lowest, 5 being the highest):

Clarity of writing - 4.5 out of 5
Ease of techniques - 5 out of 5
Value for money - 4.5 out of 5

Bottom line is: I recommend this book to anyone struggling with premature ejaculation. For the amount of useful information given it can't be beat.

Moral Support

2008-01-21T21:15:00.000-05:00

Where Did John Go

2008-01-19T15:15:00.000-05:00

Where Did John Go

My good friend John, where did you go?
It's been five years and we miss you so
You left one day without but a word
Why would you do that, you rotten turd?

The big beauty you met on the old internet
Convinced you to leave without any regret
You ran to Chicago and left us all behind
The things that you've done have been very unkind

Your location is secret, you've done that quite well
You're a scared little boy, that much we can tell
Your skills are amazing even though you are blind
You're big and you're fat, yet you're so hard to find

Anonymous Caller Tries to Reach Out to John

2008-01-17T21:12:00.000-05:00

An anonymous caller has contacted us in hopes of reaching out to our friend John Hill.

A Message to John Hill

2008-01-16T18:32:00.000-05:00

A message to a dear friend.

Our Friend John

2008-01-15T22:00:00.000-05:00

John Hill is a wonderful man, now in his mid 30's. John left us in 2003 when he fled from Columbus, Ohio to Chicago. In doing this, he hurt us deeply. We don't understand why he did the things he did to ruin our friendship, but we do know one thing. We were told by the awful people he was staying with right before he left, that he had met the love of his life on the Internet and moved to be with her and her beautiful children.

John has made it clear that he wants nothing more to do with us, but we feel that these are not his true feelings. We strongly believe that he is being manipulated by the evil internet harlot, and being used for his body. We're using this blog as a message board to find our wayward friend and ask the community to help as well. Chances are that not many people will find this page, but it's possible that someone who knows something might stumble upon it.

As stated earlier, John T Hill is in his mid 30's. He's about 5' 9" or so, and at the time of his departure he had a large stomach that was seemingly growing larger. He's possible quite obese now and walks with the help of a cane which he uses to defend himself with as well.

John doesn't see well. He only has vision out of one eye, so getting close enough to snap his picture (to send in for verification purposes) will not be a challenge. If you happen to see this man, or know anything about his whereabouts, email us at FindJohnHill@hotmail.com with the information.

We know in our hearts that John is to blame for our falling out, and we'd just like an opportunity to see him once more to tell him this. Hopefully John will realize this and we can begin to rebuild our friendship. Any person that leads us to the reunion with our dear friend will be rewarded with the video game of their choice on any platform other that the Wii. We don't feel that the Wii is a very good system and therefor will not support it.